living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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