Will you blow on my dice?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
