Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
