just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
