My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
