Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
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