this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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