What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
