Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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