Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
