Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
