I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
