He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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