nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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