I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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