Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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