Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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