You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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