The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize