super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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