i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
