What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
