somebody snuck up and got me drunk
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize
