We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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