whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Two words: blizzard sex
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
