once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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