My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I see more hoeing in ur future
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
