Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
