I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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