Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
