you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
