If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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