I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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