I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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