Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
