Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
