Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
No subtext here. People are naked.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
