All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
