Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
