drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
