You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
