I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
