Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
