There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
