I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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