I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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