I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
