either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
my sisters under your porch take her home
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize