He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize