I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize