we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize