I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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