I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
