Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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