Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I love you. Go after that dick
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize