If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
please don't ironically join a cult
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