at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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