You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
