I just cut my nipple shaving
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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