Where are you?
In a non slutty way
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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