Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
