therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize