we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
