its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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