dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
