It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
