if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
