I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
