Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
wanna go halves on a baby?
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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