K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
