How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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