U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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