She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
