if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
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