Well douche your snatch and let's go!
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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