i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
