Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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