I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize