What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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