Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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