just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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