why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
