the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
