Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize