you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
