And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
