So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
